How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?
Below, Ush Dhanak identifies 15 initial questions you can ask yourself to self-assess your level of emotional intelligence:
- Do you have the
ability to listen to others?
ploughing your own course with no regard for others is no sign of EQ! Instead,
emotionally intelligent people are able to listen and take in the thoughts,
feelings, and opinions of others. They actively seek these out and are able to
process them without judgement.
- Can you identify and
people with EQ recognise what these emotions are and are able to label them and express what they are. Labelling emotions has the effect of diminishing
their intensity and creating clarity – which can lead to better decision-making
in the workplace.
- Are you curious about
you have the ability to empathise with others, you are also curious about them,
if you have high emotional intelligence. This connects with the first above:
you listen and care about the responses of others – which makes you curious
about what they’re going through.
- How self-aware are
with EQ are comfortable in their skin. They know what they’re good at and what
they’re not so good at. They certainly don’t think or act like they are the
best at everything. They are also
better able to handle situations when their weaknesses may be exposed – because
they are prepared for them.
- Do you display confidence?
of high self-awareness, emotionally intelligent people have a confidence about
them – but not excessive or misplaced confidence. It comes across as an air of
authority and balance.
- Do you view change as
threat or opportunity?
intelligent people don’t feel threatened by change; because they are
comfortable, aware, prepared, and confident in their abilities, they are
flexible enough to approach change as an opportunity. They can help others to
see it positively too: partly for this reason, high EQ points to strong
- Are you easily upset –
with EQ are thick-skinned and can take a joke; that of course doesn’t mean that
they are immune to emotion – they are just not offended easily or over-sensitive
to criticism and can control their emotions. The balance and confidence that
they exhibit makes them seem more ‘unruffable’ than most.
- Do you build strong
trait is the ability to build strong, lasting relationships. Emotionally
intelligent people don’t waste time with partnerships that won’t bear fruit;
instead, they focus on working on the relationships that do matter.
- Are you good at
social situation has people we don’t get along with. The difference with
emotionally intelligent people is that they don’t get angry, irritated, or
frustrated by them. Instead, they are able to recognise emotions brewing up and
to then rise above them. This makes them better able to see the other person’s
point of view and more likely to find a compromise.
- Are you a good judge of
aware of your own traits and emotions also helps you see qualities in others.
This can make you a better judge of character. You are able to scratch the
surface and to see what really lies beneath with other people: a very useful
skill when you’re a leader hiring employees, for instance.
- Do you find the
positives in all situations?
intelligent people are able to get over mistakes, negative experiences, and
setbacks more easily than others. They see things positively and realise that
most events in life are learning experiences; so they pick themselves up and
get on with it. This also makes them more likely to take calculated risks –
because they are less fearful of making mistakes.
- Can you say NO?
with EQ know where to draw the line and realise that saying ‘yes’ to things
actually means saying ‘no’ to other things (which may be more important). They
are clear about priorities and so are not scared to say ‘no’ when necessary.
This avoids the stress associated with agreeing to things just to please
- Do you know when to
intelligent people may often be hard-working leaders – but they also know when
to switch off and disconnect from the working world. They know that family
time, rest, and ME time is important to their wellbeing and they will make time
for it. They have work-life balance.
- Are you usually in a
usually find emotionally intelligent people in a good mood and pleasant to be
around; they don’t get too stressed and seem generally content with life. This
is because deep-down they are in a ‘good place’ and the day-to-day stresses
don’t get to them too much.
- Do you trash talk?
you won’t find people with a high EQ talking people down; they avoid negative
conversations about others and don’t indulge in gossip. They implicitly know
that focusing on the negative actions of other also brings your own energy down
– so they prefer to focus on the positives.
on the attributes of emotional intelligence. Apart from these observational
measurements, there are validated tests you can take that will provide an
indication of your level of emotional intelligence.