Reframing and having the right mindset is the key
We were in a car going to a wedding on Saturday (1September 2018) (an hour each way) with Janine Rodd, a psychologist – who has a gift of being amazingly articulate ….. and I asked her what she does – and how she helps people!
As you know, I’m into the hoodoo voodoo of what makes people do what they do …
I am so good on my diet , I have a taste of the cookies and cream icecream , and before I know it – I have just drilled a litre ! (I might as well just inject fat and cholesterol into my arteries!) – and all the hard work that I have done in the last month – goes out the window!
My wife Robyn calls this self sabotage!!!!
Questions I asked :-
- Why do I do this???
- What makes someone a super stud and another a super dud? (What is that 10X factor)
- What makes an entrepreneur massively successful and another sit in a prison cell?
- What makes a successful sports star or rockstar who has everything self destruct while someone with “nothing” has everything?
This is what I gleaned ….
People go to Janine (amongst other reasons) when they have mental health issues -they stop exercise, start smoking, drinking , gambling , cheating , have dangerous sex etc etc –
Why do they do this?
A craving is never just a craving. A craving is a signal that something’s missing.
- What is this need that you need to take these risks? That you need to destroy what you have?
- Why do you have these destructive habit?
- Why can’t you seem to do what’s good for you?
- Why do you feel compelled to hurt yourself?
Maybe you think you deserve to be hurt!!
- Do you think you don’t deserve what’s good? That you’re not good enough?
- Are you always comparing yourself to others and deem yourself unworthy?
- When did this happen to you? When did you create this narrative for yourself?
The self hate narratives and self destructive thoughts manifest in habits and cravings and symptoms that will destroy you!
Time to reframe, baby!
What was those stories re your childhood that made you feel worthless?
What are those feelings that excite you when taking those risks – turn fear and anxiety into excitement and anticippppppation
Risk is good!!
Failure is ok!!
Channel the risk into something positive – innovate!!
(Your business vs the horses or casino)
Once you have reframed your narrative that you have been telling yourself, and realise that your childhood was a series of lessons and learnings and a journey as opposed to God or the Universe punishing you for doing something wrong ….
Embrace eating good food
Start walking and exercising again,
Set kpi’s and goals in things that will excite, enthuse, engage and inspire
- Write things down – (everything you eat)
- Plan your meal – if you achieve – reward yourself…. (maybe a massage vs a bowl of ice cream
- Celebrate daily wins
- Reward yourself
Changing habits doesn’t take 21 days, says Janine – it takes 6 more months to a year – and you will have setbacks – more than a few!
At the end of the day
- You don’t need to watch your calories. You need to watch your thoughts.
- You don’t need to quit smoking – you need to quit hating yourself
- You don’t need to start exercising. You need to start respecting your body.
- You don’t need to stop drinking – you need to stop numbing your emotions.
(Thanks Julie Cairns of the Abundance Code https://www.juliecairnes.com.au/ for this link https://tinybuddha.com/blog/what-to-do-when-you-find-it-hard-to-do-whats-good-for-you/)
It’s all about your state of mind and reframing a story!
Janine helps reframe!
If you have the right mindset – being good to yourself , others, and the planet is effortless.
As a psychologist and hypnotherapist I hope to create the highest quality of care for you in a supportive and nurturing environment. I work psycho dynamically which means that you and I will look at how your conscious and unconscious minds interact and influence your thoughts, behaviours and attitudes.