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What story do you tell yourself ?

I’ve been hearing this comment over and over again over the past month – so I decided to do a bit of research in mindset – fascinating! 

It all starts with your thoughts

Your thoughts control your dreams
Your dreams control your actions

Your action control your habits

Your habits control your destiny

How can you wire your brain to think positive thoughts? 

Maybe start with the end in mind –

  • What do you want your destiny to be – and then work backwards – 
  • What do you need to do to achieve your destiny?
  • Who do you know that has already been where you want to go?
  • How did they get there? 

Write it down


– visualise you’re destiny

 – maybe you can work out the habits you need to get there

 – the actions you need to take 

– the dreams you need to have and 

– the thoughts you need to think 

Write it down 

Be Do Have 

These are 3 powerful words

If you (be) and (do) you will (have)

If you (have) the ingredients and follow the instructions (do) – you will bake the cake (be)

If you act (do) as if you belong (be) you will get what you desire

Treat your mind as a muscle 

It is all about your mindset – your state of mind – 

The cool thing is – that you have the ability to control it

Any muscle needs to be excercise to achieve peak performance – your mind is no different.

Tweak your narrative 

The stories that you tell yourself have a profound effect on your mindset – and ultimately your destiny !

If you continue to beat yourself up  and tell yourself stories that are filled with fear uncertainty and doubt and question your self worth – this will limit your ability to succeed in what you do – And will have serious implications for your mental wellbeing.”

Negative self-talk and an increase in stress levels, depression and anxiety”.

You can change your story 

Some small tweaks to your narrative that you tell yourself can have a profound effect on your wellbeing! 

“Your story you tell yourself spills out in the language you use in your daily interactions”

Negative self talk – such as 

“I can’t, I won’t, it’s my fault, it’ll never happen to me?” 

Catastrophisong, polarising and personalising – 

Any muscle needs to be excercise to achieve peak performance – your mind is no different 

Flex the mental muscle

Your self- talk is excercise for your mind – if your inner voice repeatedly tells you what to do – that is what you will do .

Each  time you allow it to tell you what it’s thinking, you are creating a pathway to the destiny that you will achieve – 

And the more you think that thought – the pathway will start to be ingrained into a habit …. that will eventually become a highway to your destiny – and zshoom you will get there quick! 

Tweaking your mindset in a positive way will create more headspace for positive thoughts. 

It involves changing your perspective of a certain situation to provide a more positive and healthy outlook . 

Strategies to change your mindset from negative to positive 

How do you change your  negative emotions – like anger, jealousy or fear – to emotions of trust, calmness and love .

It’s all about the stories you tell yourself that willl determine you’re mindset. 

What are the excercise you can do to control that mindset and hardwire your brain to programme your self talk to positive thoughts 


The other day – I had a client catastrophisong – what would happen if lockdown continued for the whole year – and Jobkeeper stops -how would he feed his family – he worked himself up into a state that he would consider – giving it all up !! 

What if they then look at Jobkeeper and the government asks for their money back?

What if the bank calls in their loans? 

He felt that things were going wrong because of him 

He was “catastrophising’ and thinking the absolute worst – 

What should he have done ?

What are steps you can take can you take to turn the situation around ?

Take a deep breath and ask yourself: 

How likely is this to happen, and if it does, what implications will it actually have on your life, in the grand scheme of things?”

Is there any evidence to support your claim? 

What are some other realistic reasons?

Write it down 

What are the positives?

What are the opportunities?

If the glass is half empty – it’s also half full

1. Think of the positives 

Always think of a few positives before thinking of a negative

My brother Brett  is a teacher at a Hebrew school  – when Parents come to complain – he will always ask them

to share something positive that has happened to their child at the school. 

This invariably calmed the situation and put into perspective the complaint.

When analysing a situation – write down three good things – no matter how big or small – about the situation! 

2. Promise to be kinder to yourself

No one criticised yourself more than you! 

People tend to be self destructive !

Who would criticise you more than you do when you hit a bad shot on the golf course or tennis court? 


During lockdown – I promised myself that I would write everything I ate down and focus on eating smaller portions and only healthy food…..

I then went out and binged on chocolate brownies and fudge??? 

I then  beat myself up about it and told myself I would never lose weight

“If you ate unhealthily one evening, it does not mean your diet is ruined.”

You realign , reconfigure , refocus and start again 

Golf booking 

I promised myself that I wouldn’t forget to book for a gold game (it was my chance) and what did I do – clean forgot – letting people down – 

Does that make me a bad person? Worthless? What do I do about it? 

You need to treat yourself with more kindness and patience: 

3. Set aside time for worry

Acknowledge worrying thoughts – write them down –  and Set aside just an allocated time (5 minutes) to worry about them 

That way – The rest of the day becomes a worry-free zone.”

4. Give yourself permission to be happy and positive

You deserve to be happy and positive !

Set yourself achievable smart goals – where you can celebrate successes !!

Eternal happiness and permanent bliss doesn’t exist – however there will be times that will give you the opportunity to feel happy and good about yourself – nurture those times 

In summary 

Focus  on what you can control.

Exercise your mind – use the 4 strategies 

1. Turn negatives into positives

2. Be kind to yourself

3. Set aside time to worry

4. Give yourself permission to be happy – celebrate wins 


write it down

Posted on May 19, 2020

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